I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
