Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
