You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
