Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
