girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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