Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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