Are we in a gay sports bar?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
