I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm too high and old for this...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
