I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
