i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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