you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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