I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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