yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
