you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
