I think im going to throw up on grandma
its not stalking. its research.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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