Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You ruined the universe
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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