Duck Duck Cougar?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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