Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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