Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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