I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
