Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Randomize
