his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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