that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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