My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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