were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
