if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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