You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
