We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
