I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
