pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
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