Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
sarcasm needs its own font
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
