he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
