We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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