I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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