lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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