i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
