we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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