just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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