Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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