your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
