hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
