just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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