the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
