I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
