when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You need Xanax blowdarts
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
