I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
