just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
