First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize