if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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