just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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