no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just googled if crying burns calories
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
