Quick, to the slutcave!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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