Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
