Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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