What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
