I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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