you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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