There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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