Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
