Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
