We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
